Our marriage was on the rocks (basement rocks)

This basement almost broke our marriage. I don't think I've ever got so worked up about something as much as this hell pit.

2016 Getting the site ready for the building company.

Digging out the old pool.

The story starts when we were going to build a stock standard house with a large volume builder. Everything was in the pipeline, we had agonized over bench top colours and electrical switch placements.
We were good to go.
Deposit had been made.
Contract had been signed.

June 2017 Basement 1.0

Then, the company asked us to build a retaining wall to support the back of the house. In his late night musings Adam worked with the engineer planning not only a retaining wall, but to create a small basement (not really a basement because it wouldn't be directly under the house) which would act as a retaining wall as well as giving us a small workable space and a patio above, rather than a huge hill. Engineering plans were drawn up and sent to the building company who gave it the thumbs up. At this point Adam also decided that he would oversee and organised the build in the hope of saving money. (Original estimate was $150K  and he did it for $42K.)

This literally kicked off as I was in hospital giving birth to our daughter Evangeline. As I was laying there having contractions Adam was on the blower barking out instructions. And when I complained he then went out to "move the car" every two hours taking an hour to "find a new car spot".

April 2017. Poor me with a newborn and 17 month old all by myself.

Then, once it was done, our building company had a management restructure and new management decided that the basement was going to make things too difficult to complete the house build, pulled out of the contract and gave us a refund! All because of Adam and his brain that can't relax; my postnatal hormones went crazy.  I felt that I had been robbed of support during the newborn phase because of this stupid basement for it only to ruin all my hopes and dreams!!! I'm still not sure if this anger was misplaced, but I was FURIOUS at him.


Be that as it may, we had to move on. We picked ourselves up and started to redesign the house from scratch. Then to rub salt in the wound Adam proposed to extend the basement to the entirety of under the house. He reasoned, due to the council's prescribed building envelope, we couldn't build a shed without extensive documentation and town planning applications. He could also have his workshop, brewery, study, cellar, home theatre plus park the 4WD, motorbike and trailer down there. Basically he could have the ultimate man-cave.  He also reasoned that it would get us closer to achieving Passive House compliance (more on that here).

This sent me berserk! I can't explain how mad it made me! There were evenings of crying and begging him not to go ahead with it, and for a couple of months he seemed to be reconsidering. Ultimately he told me that he had considered all my objections and that he was going to go ahead with it anyway, we wouldn't be able to do it later, and that we would only live to regret it in the future. I know in the Bible, wives are told to submit to their husbands and this was the first time in our marriage I had to do it. I found this very, very difficult.

And Adam wonders why I have no interest in his basement?! Also, writing this is quite cathartic.

Basement slab being extended to go under entire house.

Opening from original basement into second section of the basement.

View of entire basement from street.

Oct 2018 Second part of basement-floor plan